Well that didn't go as planned
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Hello! Yesterday you received an empty email from me that, quite ironically, had a subject line of "Is this it?" with nothing but a link to unsubscribe or update your profile. While I did indeed draft an actual email to you, I have no idea where it went or what happened. So if you're reading this now, thank you for not unsubscribing and showing me a bit of grace. I appreciate you. Below is the message I meant to send you. I see more and more posts on social media about attachment styles now, which is great. It’s absolutely worth looking at the way we interact with the people in our lives. One thing that always comes up in my work with clients, whether we’re looking at their relationships with their friends, significant others or children, or even at work, is the most important relationship that is the easiest to overlook: their relationship with themselves.  It’s exacerbated for those who are the fixers and the givers of the world. The ones who learned early to believe that their role in life was to be so attuned to everybody else’s needs that by default their needs always take a backseat. What I don’t see many posts talking about is how that behavior is just as much a form of disassociation and disconnection as numbing with alcohol or food or, dare I say it, drugs. Said another way, your self sacrificing, hyper-attunement, martyr ways keep you just as much disconnected and avoidant of yourself as a person who uses a substance. The difference is that one is glorified by our society, especially if you’re a woman, and one is treated with judgment and shame. And yet, the core wound that drives both is often so similar. I wish I could tell you that there was one thing you could do to magically become attuned to yourself and your own needs overnight. But it is a process that requires daily practice on top of the recalibration that you get from sessions with myself or your coach or your therapist or your counselor. What I CAN guarantee is that work, should you be brave enough to start it and continue it, will radically change your life, your relationships, and your resilience. I want to share a recording I made to help you become more attuned to yourself and your emotions any time you need it. It's around 10 minutes and will help you get out of your head and into your body. Creating a practice around doing just that is a necessary step to building your relationship with yourself. Let me know what comes up for you when you use it. Just reply to this email or email me separately at hello@rosannagill.com. Also, I'm holding the next group breathwork session, Somatic Release, this Sunday at 7pm EST. You can register here. I hope to see you there and I hope emotional alchemy serves you. Breathe easy, Rosanna P.S. If you'd like to learn more about my private breathwork sessions, book a call with me here. |
What's worse, you're doing too much of the wrong things because your focus is misdirected. While your brain is telling you to focus on external circumstances, you're missing what your body is telling you. Screaming at you. So let this email be your sign to STOP. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 5 seconds. Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Then slowly exhale through your mouth for 9 seconds or until it feels like you've deflated your belly and chest. Notice how your torso softened....
When you think of home, what do you think of? Over a decade ago, a friend was telling me how distraught she felt knowing a home she'd lived in at one point might be destroyed by fires ravaging the area. I tried to comfort her but had no idea what to say. She asked how I would feel if my childhood home went up in flames and while I knew what she wanted me to say, I said my truth. As long as my parents and pets were okay I wouldn't care about the physical place. Partly because I'd wanted...